Ranting

Hey guys,

So I quit reddit years ago for a variety of reasons, one of which was to help me go outside more (look where that got me). I created this account just to post on this subreddit because I suffer from severe agoraphobia and I can't find support anywhere besides my therapist. None of my family understands and I have no friends. I also have bipolar disorder which I feel was probably the cause of my agoraphobia.

I am in online school right now and I am succeeding but pretty soon I will have to go in person and I am terrified to do it. I don't think my therapist even realizes how bad it is. I am able to go out and on walks but simple things like just going to the store are extremely painful. If I am to succeed in school I will need to overcome this illness but I am terrified I won't be able to get my degree because of it.

My therapist and psychiatrist both think that going outside is the cure and I agree. But it feels like torture and I don't have a car or friends. I was thinking about going to a local game store to play Magic the Gathering but that feels like jumping into the ocean without knowing how to swim.

I hate this illness and the living hell it creates for me. I can barely function as a person because of it. The worst part is people just expect me to "just get over it". I'm so fucking frustrated sometimes I want to scream.

My psychiatrist prescribed me ativan to help with the anxiety and it does somewhat but nowhere near enough.

How do you guys manage this?