How many differences should one accept before we're too different to be friends/date?

Hey, I hope y'all see this and answer.

(you can skip this section) Basically, my problem is that I don't have close friends and I am single and have been both for years and years now (23 years old rn). I think all this time alone has made me too accustomed to myself to the point where if someone else does things another way than I do or likes things that I don't, I find it hard to not see as a minus or a sign of poor compatibility.

The last time I tried to accept these things in a date it ended with me getting hurt FAST. At this point I don't even know how I could date an early bird when I'm an extreme owl, I feel like it would be a point of tension that I sleep in and that they are sleepy early.

Some characteristics, dependencies or habits. How much do I try to accept? I know I'm rigid but idk where the line between 'i want to date/be friends w someone exactly like me' and 'we are so different, do i even like any of your habits and characteristics?'