"I don't know"

My avoidant and covert narcissist husband of 20 years and I are divorcing. There are a million things I will not miss, but this is near the top of the list: "I don't know."

STBX (soo to be ex) "knew" he'd been unhappy in the marriage for a very long time. And that I had been mean. When I asked for examples of this mean behavior, and how he would like me to change? "I don't know."

He insisted he didn't want to divorce, two years after I discovered his emotional affair with his subordinate at work, and now? He still "doesn't know" what he wants from me.

May I ask, were your avoidants like that? They were supposedly unhappy with you, but they could never articulate what they expected of you?