Does anyone feel like they constantly have to start over?

Hello, I (F24) was diagnosed about two years ago with BPD. Didn’t come to terms with it and found out a year later i had autism.

I’ve noticed my biggest issue since being diagnosed is always starting over. i remove friends, family, delete socials all at once to “start over” to just make new accounts and grab the friends with the ole “ im sorry i did that again”…just to an hour feel like i have to remove everything from my life and restart.

I do it in video games. I almost want but don’t want to be perceived it feels like. I make toons, say hey this feels great a fresh new start, just for me to delete them all and “restart” again…like an hour later.

This happens with everything in my life : careers, style, just anything. It’s constantly changing to the point i don’t know what I even truly want or am. So much so it leads to very negative thoughts and suffering.

Does anyone else feel like this and to the point it almost brings pain and annoyances? Any help is appreciated, I feel very alone with no one that understands it seems.