Not wanting another relationship after divorce. Feeling numb.

I have been thinking about relationships a lot in the last few weeks and after the last 18 months of hell, I have come to the conclusion that I really don’t want another relationship ever again.

Bit of my background: married 10 years, he cheated in 2017, I ended the marriage in 2017, divorce final in a week.

I haven’t dated anyone during my separation, stayed on my own, threw myself into work and family. I have not been intimate with anyone, not even tried. I have had guys interested, even had one kiss me and I felt nothing. Like zero feelings at all, neither positive nor negative, it was like blank space, which has prevented me even trying to date or have sex since. Most of the time I just feel numb. My emotional responses are off, I feel the negative emotions easily, like I can feel anger, but most of the time it’s nothing. Don’t get me wrong, I can laugh and smile.. but it’s a numb version of those emotions, if that makes sense. It isn’t as bad as it was in the beginning, but it’s still there and it’s starting to become a problem for me. I am starting to worry that I will never feel anything good again. I know I shut down to protect myself, but now I don’t need that protection I am having some difficulty lifting it. I am in therapy and was told my emotions will self regulate and eventually come back, but right now, it is making me feel like I never want to be in another relationship again. Not sure if anyone else has felt like this and it has eventually changed or not?

Don’t get me wrong, The end of my marriage wasn’t all negative, I have freedom now, I have peace and don’t have to fear where my partner is when he isn’t at home. I can work and travel without problems, spend money on what I like. I got a really good job that pays a lot of money after he left and basically am set for life if I stay in my current career. I have friends and family that I spend time with, and have spent a lot of time working on myself. I am not the same person I was 18 months ago. I have changed a lot and enjoy my own company, and I have seriously considered a life on my own moving forwards. Has anyone done this and found happiness?