He came back.. and I just feel indifferent.

Back story; He broke up with me in July 2021. We tried to reconcile & I thought things were going great. Blindsided me and officially ended it in October 2021. I did the normal crying & pleading but got nothing from him & I went full NC.

He messaged me on Christmas, wishing me a Merry Christmas, etc. and I was cordial and replied back. Then he messaged me Happy New Year and I did the same. Except this time he called me & I was nervous but I kept my calm and told him hope he has a good new year.

He'll sporadically call me babe/baby & tell me how he misses me, loves me and how he messed up everything. I tell him that I know and that I'll always miss him and love him but how he was right & that we are never going to be together.

It's funny because I never thought I'd feel indifferent. I admit, I do still love him and miss him but I don't trust him and our relationship is never going to be the same. Maybe we can start over but I think we have too much history to do that.

But I'll always remember the words he told me that broke me so hard, that I won't ever forget "I was never happy during our entire 5 years together" << He admitted he said that to hurt me and that he lied because those were his happiest 5 years, but that was an unnecessarily hurtful thing to say just because he was hurt.

Sooo.. if anyone is in this situation, some of them do come back. But they always come back a little too late.