relapsed after 17 days then realized i don’t enjoy being high anymore, threw away my leftover stash, starting anew today. how’s everyone doing?

so this was an intentional relapse because i still had some left, a friend was holding it for me. i asked them to bring it over for this weekend because i just kept thinking about that leftover. i did it over the weekend and man, i did not enjoy it. i found myself wishing i was sober instead so i could do things i can’t do when i’m under influence, i found myself missing my mental sharpness when i was off ket.

this has been so hard, i feel every emotion sharply, and my anger and depression has been through the roof, not to mention i caught covid the day i went cold turkey. however, after dumping the rest of my supply last night i feel so good.

i’ve been keeping drinking and cannabis under control too in order to not replace one addiction with another. i’ve been taking supplements like gingko, lion’s mane for mental clarity, multivitamins and extra vitamin d to help my recover since my stomach is affected by all the ket usage and i worry i’m not absorbing food well. 5htp for mood management, green tea extract as well.

the next few weeks are going to be tough as fuck but i think i got this. i don’t have the urge to text my plug at all. i have a ton of errands and appointments, work is super stressful because financial year is ending and there are a ton of deadlines but with omicron hitting people are out sick and i’m still recovering from covid but honestly i’m committed to taking it easy and taking care of myself first. i’m too sick and fatigued to exercise and my organs feel like shit, but i can’t even describe how proud i feel i just threw away my stash like that when i found myself asking myself “you don’t even enjoy this anymore, what are you even doing?? this is damaging your body with zero benefits.”