Abusive and Absent Father

Last week, I posted about my tough situation but had to delete it for anonymity. Things are better now—I got my fees paid, my driver’s license, and have been staying active on the social media, which practically saved my life.

I haven’t told my parents my fees are paid to see if they’d bring it up or make an excuse since the deadline passed five days ago. They haven’t. They didn’t even send me ₹100-₹150 to get home, let alone for food. If not for kind Redditors, I wouldn’t have made it home. I asked them about it daily, but they just blamed each other.

My mother, though not a great parent, has at least been somewhat present. She used to pay for my mess fees and would occasionally buy me dinner when I told her I was starving. She genuinely couldn’t afford my semester fees, so I never blamed her. My father, on the other hand, is a different story.

He comes from a privileged tharavad but his family mismanaged their inheritance. He worked in Mumbai before moving to the UAE, where he met my mother. They had a “love marriage,” but after my naming ceremony, he left for Dubai, and I didn’t see him again until I was 13. He used to promise visits on Onam, Christmas, and Vishu, but never showed up. My parents divorced sometime between my 4th and 6th grade, but I never asked when it was finalized.

Around the time I was 11-12, he was allegedly in prison, and a Malaysian lady was sending us money. Turns out, she was his new wife. I found out when he suddenly showed up one morning when I was 13—his first visit in years. He wasn’t there for me, just to renew his passport. Later, during COVID, I saw his profile picture was his new daughter. When he visited again during my 11th grade, he had her name tattooed on his arm, her birthday as his passcode, and their picture as his wallpaper. I was jealous of a 4-year-old who got everything I wanted from him. Even when he came home, he never spent time with me—just hung out with friends and cooked me non-veg, as if that made up for everything.

Things got worse when he moved to Bahrain. He started delaying sending money, and one day, during my 12th practicals, I came home to find a woman and a 13-14-year-old boy on my porch. She told me she was the reason my parents divorced and that the boy was my brother. She begged for my father’s contact details for his sake. Growing up as a single child, suddenly finding out I had a sister was one thing, but now a brother too? At least that kid was lucky—better to have a loving mother and no father than to have both but feel abandoned.

Today, I called my father from my grandmother’s phone since he ignores my calls. I asked for help with fees, driving school, and IV—he refused everything. So I told him I’d take the phone to work. His response? He told my grandmother, “Even if he dies there, I don’t care. Don’t give him the phone. If you do, I won’t send you any more money, and I’ll never call again.” Now, Swiggy deliveries are my only option for survival.

He doesn’t pay child support for my half-brother, yet he lives off his wealthy wife, wears only designer clothes, and refuses to help me because I’d get “spoiled.” All my clothes were his hand-me-downs. My laptop was a gift from my aunt, and my phone was from my cousin. He’s burned so many bridges that I have no relatives left to ask for help.

I just needed to rant and get this off my chest. Thanks to anyone who read this.

TL;DR: My biological father has two kids from two different women, took legal custody of me, but refuses to take any responsibility.

PS, Hard to make it shorter through chat gpt🙏💀