Kinda mean

Anyone else build a wall to defend themselves against nmom and turnout looking unkind? I have no patience as i need to be “on guard”, i find my self short tempered. I can no longer return an “i love you “ My nmom takes these moments to remind me that I am not nice or understanding for her.. like i am the weed in the middle of her rise garden. I am always on alert the hidden agenda or misinformation is coming. I have learned too many lessons over the years.