Snapped at my 12 year old son

-Throwaway-

A few days ago, I overreacted when I heard my 12-year-old son arguing with my wife about not being ready in the morning for summer camp. They were both upset, yelling, and suddenly he shouted at her to “Shut up!” I joined the argument, and before I knew it, I rushed at him and restrained him, yelling back. He was visibly scared, and my wife had to intervene, hitting my back until I let go. He ran to his room in tears, saying he couldn’t breathe.

Reflecting on that moment, I can't believe I acted that way. I've never done anything like that before, and I never thought I would jump at my own child. Later that morning, I sat down with him and apologized sincerely. He's such a sweet boy, and I feel devastated knowing I scared him like that. Despite my feelings of failure, he's been his usual loving self toward me since then.

I'm searching for insights into why I reacted so suddenly and aggressively. It frightens me to think it might happen again. I've always considered myself a calm and level-headed dad; our family has been happy and stable for 10 years. But as my son enters puberty, I'm worried about what triggered my behavior and how to prevent it from happening again. I don't want to frighten or emotionally (and physically) harm my children in any way. I have a 10 year old boy as well.

I am committed to changing and ensuring this doesn't repeat itself. My children deserve better, and I want to be the supportive father they need during this crucial time in their lives.

If you´ve gone through something like this (especially if you are a dad), I could use your advice.