Saw this and it pretty much embodies how I feel right now!
And while I'm not looking for sympathy or anything really, it's just how I feel and I'm writing this for myself more than anything.
Like every time I go out I see beautiful women everywhere and they look perfect. Not a hair out of place, the outfits are well thought out and they're nailing it and the sheer weight of even considering trying to keep up just de-motivates me.
I started transition roughly a year ago and managed to go all in fairly quickly, I think the novelty and lack of people having a problem with it was carrying me more than I realised. Now that things have settled down I've found myself being more and more self conscious and that sense that if I can't do a fabulous job then there's no point trying comes over me and I end up thinking "well, I'll just boymode another day" / or do half a job, which doesn't help either.
I know this is the most relatable cis woman experience too, women feel this every day, in some respects it's part of the drive for excellence (and I guess they don't strictly have the option to "just boy mode" (whole side topic, I am aware), but dang it's overwhelming sometimes.
That's it.
And while I'm not looking for sympathy or anything really, it's just how I feel and I'm writing this for myself more than anything.
Like every time I go out I see beautiful women everywhere and they look perfect. Not a hair out of place, the outfits are well thought out and they're nailing it and the sheer weight of even considering trying to keep up just de-motivates me.
I started transition roughly a year ago and managed to go all in fairly quickly, I think the novelty and lack of people having a problem with it was carrying me more than I realised. Now that things have settled down I've found myself being more and more self conscious and that sense that if I can't do a fabulous job then there's no point trying comes over me and I end up thinking "well, I'll just boymode another day" / or do half a job, which doesn't help either.
I know this is the most relatable cis woman experience too, women feel this every day, in some respects it's part of the drive for excellence (and I guess they don't strictly have the option to "just boy mode" (whole side topic, I am aware), but dang it's overwhelming sometimes.
That's it.