I don't believe in anything anymore, I don't know what I should believe in anymore.

I come from a very religious family But right now I don't believe in god anymore, The idea of god itself is just doesn't make sense anymore to me and Honestly it never did from the start I was just praying and believing because I was told to do so.
But also Atheism doesn't make any sense to me either and I don't know what I should believe in now.
Of course my family does not know that and if they did they would probably kick me out of the house.
Right now I am in a state of "I don't know" and I fucking hate it.