I'm vomiting blood, I'm scared

My recent posts aren't looking great but I'm scared and don't want to dump this on my friends, I don't want to scare them. I'm vomiting blood and I feel weak, theres something wrong with my bladder and kidney. Tonight I watched a movie called "Suzume", near the end one of the mcs said they didn't want to die, they wanted to live. I started crying because I'm scared.

The medicine isn't working, and even though I'm 17, I can't just run out on my own, my parents are trying to help but they're just hoping a couple of days later I'll be fine. I'm not fine, I'm scared I'm dying, because I feel so weak, and can't eat like I used to.

Maybe I'm being dramatic but, I've let this happen for so many years due to fear I'll get yelled at, due to fear. Now I'm too weak to properly eat, to walk, to sit, to use the bathroom, It hurts doing all of that. I try ignoring it by doing things I like, thinking about jobs I wanna get, looking forward to my future dreams but I guess, if I do die, that would really suck. I;m sobbing like I'm dying in the moment so im just being funny now. I just hope I can come here soon and make a happier post if I'm better.

​