What an awkward dinner

(27f)

My younger brother (23m) proposed to his girlfriend last night. I've only met the girl twice and she seems like a good match for him. I'm genuinely happy for them. But this vent is moreso about my mother and the girlfriend's family making me extremely uncomfortable. For context; my mom was extremely abusive to me growing up. My brother is clearly her favorite out of the both of us; as all she ever does is brag about all of his accomplishments and how well he's doing in life.

She has been demanding I show up to this engagement dinner for the past week. She used both guilt tripping and manipulation to try to get me to go. I originally didn't want to go; and I partially regret going, but I went solely for my brother. I made it clear to her that I didn't want to go due to marriage being a trigger for me because of my ex and that I wasn't doing this for her. I never met her family and I had no intentions to because they were, from what I understood, toxic Christians.

The gf's family walks in with her, and my mom starts greeting everybody like they're actual family. She never introduces any of them to me and none of them showed any interest in getting to know me. That was uncomfortable; how they kept talking to me like they knew me. It's hard to explain; it felt like my mom told them everything about me that she knew and to talk to someone they've never met casually like that without showing interest in getting to know me was weird. It was also odd that they were heavily joking about alcohol; knowing the gf's grandfather died from alcoholism years ago and my step father struggling with the addiction as well. That felt really insensitive.

But what offended me the most was my mother's insulting and degrading "joke" to my brother and his gf saying "you better give me some grandkids before I die". Like, wow; idk about anybody else, but I can't STAND when the older generation demands children from the younger generation. Joke or not, that wasn't funny. I can't believe she said that.

She apologized afterwards for not introducing me to anybody; but it wasn't sincere. I know my brother matters more to her than me; and apparently he also matters more to these people. I was triggered the whole time, but I used so many coping skills from therapy to keep myself grounded.