A Poem of the Tragic Keto Brownie

I wanted a brownie, a chocolatey treat, A soft-baked delight, so chewy and sweet. The wrapper looked fancy, the branding was bold, But the first bite? A punishment cold.

I chewed and I chewed—my jaw hit a wall, Was I eating a snack or drywall in a ball? My Apple Watch buzzed, confused by the strain, “Are you lifting a weight? Are you sprinting through pain?”

No, dear Apple, I’m stuck in a fight, With a bar that is drier than deserts at night. Each bite took effort, my spirit grew weak, This wasn’t a snack—it was jaw day at peak.

I pictured real brownies, so gooey, so grand, But I was just chomping on compressed sand. Still, I pressed on, too stubborn to stop, Determined to finish this protein-packed flop.

At last, I was done, but I sat there in pain, Regret in my soul, no chocolate to gain. Soft-baked, they called it—those liars, I swear, Next time, I’ll just eat dust from the air.