I'M SO TIRED Venting- TLDR;

I’m so fed up with the academic institution.

Some background info- I am in my late 20s, went back to school via community college at around 25, and have since transferred to a large and prestigious public university in my state. In fact, my school is considered one of the best public universities both in the state and globally.

However, since transferring, I have gone from a 4.0, straight-A student, to someone with a growing resentment for the larger academic systems. The difference in quality of education from community college (cc) to university is honestly laughable. It is so blatantly obvious that the professors here truly don’t care if you learn or if you succeed, and teaching takes such a stark role on the back burner for them.

At the beginning of the quarter, I got VERY sick, went to urgent care multiple times, and was bedridden for over a week. Not one professor would extend my assignments or allow my doctor's note to be taken legitimately and it's put me very behind. All due to something entirely out of my control. The lack of compassion is ridiculous and trying to get back up to speed alone has been not just challenging but nearly impossible. It's been devastating because while bedridden, I was continuing to study daily and still feel as though my efforts have done little to nothing to help.

**EDIT**- It's okay if you don't believe this or see this as one-sided, the facts are: I sent a doctor's note along to my professors and that was not sufficient for extension, that is what happened. I am not asking for comments on this particular instance, it was simply a catalyst to a greater issue. Like stated, this post is to vent and gripe, no need to respond if that bothers you. Also this particular circumstance was meant to highlight the lack of care from prof at the larger universities.**

I’m going into debt to learn from people that don’t give a shit and only want to do research, whereas my cc profs were passionate and caring and worked with us as students. I’m feeling so beyond burnt out, I miss cc so much; I feel like I’m wasting so much time and energy just for the degree to have some big university name when I know the majority of the education that’s been positive didn’t even come from here.

It makes no sense, all I want to do is learn and I can feel the spark of my passion for learning is just fading every day. No one cares, the system doesn’t work for us at all, and I can feel myself growing more and more resentful by the second. It’s like academia is telling me “Shut up, suck it up, you don’t have to learn you just have to suffer and then pass, you’ll never use half of this but we want your money so you have to take it anyway.” I just want to yell back "Fuck you for taking my money, putting me into debt, fuck you for making me broke while I do this, and FUCK YOU for crushing my spirit and love of learning!!!!!!!!"

I want to be done but I don’t want to stop learning, am I just alone in this? Is academia supposed to beat you down until all you want to do is give up? That’s how it feels, I’m so tired, I’m so defeated, I just want to learn from someone that actually gives a fuck. I just want to learn to understand, not learn to regurgitate whatever bullshit they want me to spit back out at them. I could go on forever, but most importantly: Fuck you academia, FUCK YOU.