I need help making an important decision regarding a DV case

My boyfriend/ex(?) was charged with domestic violence earlier this month after assaulting me. I didn’t want any of this to go down but I had no power in the matter; my mom called the police and after they spoke to me and saw the evidence they arrested him. It had been going on a long time but I’d never gone to the police, so it’s considered his first offense and is a misdemeanor.

In the couple days that followed, I made and received a ton of calls to and from officers and people working with the court, during which I tried and said everything I could to help him. At this point I had requested a copy of the police report, but hadn’t seen it yet. Once I was able to read it, I saw that his parents had made all sorts of statements about me when the officers came to arrest their son (that I hit him, I ask him to hit me, I attempt suicide, threaten him, etc.), all of which were completely false (but the real kicker is that most of the things they claimed I do were things he literally does to me and I have solid evidence of lol). I’m not super worried about this—the police looked at my phone, texts and threats he’s sent me, marks on my body and I’m pretty sure they recognize his parents are going to say anything they can to protect him. But that really hurt and made me question how to handle this after I put so much effort into making things better for him.

I’m still able to ask the court to give him the option of a deferral, which would wipe the charge from his public record. I’m leaning toward doing this; I promised him I’d help him any way I could, even though I wanted to get out of it I didn’t feel ready when it ended. I was gonna say I don’t want him in jail but maybe I do? But I’m scared for him to go to jail and I don’t want to regret being a factor in that decision.

On the other hand, he made my life hell for years. And I feel like I’m permanently damaged now, so it almost feels like my future is ruined, and part of me wants his to be ruined too. Or I at least want him to pay for what he did, and face consequences, because I paid for his actions in so many ways and I’ll never be the same. And for it to just be gone from his record forever like it just never happened twists my stomach a little bit, not gonna lie. But I don’t know how I can help potentially put him behind bars and label him as a convict forever either. Also, from what I’ve been told, the evidence is so severe and obvious that my say may not even make much of a difference.

I’m sorry for the long post, I’m really conflicted on this, and his trial is on Monday so I only have a couple of days to let them know what I want to do. Im looking for any thoughts or advice at all, literally anything. I realize I’m still pretty deeply entangled in the relationship so I know I’m not really seeing the situation clearly and outside inputs would be really helpful. Thank you