I’m not like all trans guys

hey guys, just a little rant and i’m hoping to find someone else out there that’s just like me. i’m hopefully getting top surgery in march which i am over the moon about. but i still don’t feel like every trans guy. i accept that this is the body i am born in, and although i don’t HATE it, such as i don’t look in the mirror and want to rip my skin off, and i can stand myself naked in the mirror because this is the body i was born into and it is what it is. don’t get me wrong i do hate my body, and i do wish i had the body of a man, but i don’t and im just really understanding about that. So many trans guys can’t even take their binder off to sleep, or some guys can’t even go outside because of dysphoria and so on. i guess i just feel really different and that im lying to myself about being trans? but i know im not, i mean im paying 9k to sort my chest out haha. i’m just hoping someone understands me and maybe there’s someone reading this who is also just like me?