Plz help me I am just tired of myself

So I am in class 11th currently(almost done) and I was preparing for JEE and I have been a good student(not flexing) and i belong to a middle class family so when I came in class 11th I was preparing for JEE and because my father don't say many things related to my studies but this time he said that you should be in the school in which you have been so i have to go to a regural school and do classes of my coaching.... Every thing was fine i would do my classes study almost the whole day like 15-16 hr including my school and classes and ya I did not go to school regularly but when ever I use to go I would ans the questions that class can also not solve but then my chem sir who started thinking that I was a good student made me join a chem project and 4 more students were selected for 1 week my sleep schedule my jee classes hw and everything got messed up but I knew that I am capable of completing all that after the project was done but just after the project ended my half yearly started in first week or September so i have to miss some more classes because of that and honestly speaking I told my mom that I will not go to school after this because i have a bit backlog and my mom agreed because I use to study when I was a home all the time but as the exam ended i came home and took that day as rest and sleep early but the next morning I woke up with 102 fever and could not study like not even a bit after some blood test i came to know that I had dengue and because of weakness I was not able to stand or go to washroom alone after a month i recovered a bit but I was not able to study i lost all the momentum that I builder up ... Like when I was able to study 12 hr easily now I was not even able to study for 1 hr my concentration kept being broken as I was starting to study like 3-4hr slowly my sisters came home(I have two older sister both are working after there college) and festivals like diwali,chat puja all came and because of all this same thing happened again i became busy in preparation of festival at my home then when my sister wrnt back it was december then came my unit tests begin it took a whole month for me again and I was studying very little like 2-3hr and it was not even on jee level in January i thought would not go to school but see my condition of studies my parents forced me to and after coming from school I would be so drained that I couldn't even open my eyes in Feb viva and practials took all my time . One day I was crying at the terrace because of this and my sister(she came in jan for some days) saw me but I was not able to share these things to her and i said I was sad because mom scolded me . Thought of s*cide but the only thing it would give my parents is sadness so i avoided it I had some male but no female friend but in January mid my old friend msged me we have been talking for a month and some time I do share some things with her and even go motivated at a point but I wasn't able to

I think that what am I doing I can't study for even 2 hr in the whole day my final exams are coming i have a massive backlog of my jee classes and dpps I am so done like I am scared of my self that I would take a wrong step one day

I didn't wanted to tell this to anyone but now I am just so full of thoughts that I can't even use my brain anymore I was a very ambitious before but now a days all i think is of lust movies mobile phone and that's it (i am not on any social media except reddit)

Sorry for the long post 🥲