How Did it get so bad?

I lost my best friend of 2 years last week on my birthday. I keep replaying what led up to this, trying to figure out which one of us was in the wrong.

His friends had said that I was "acting obsessive" & "copying" him; to which I don't feel like I ever intended to. We had a lot of similar things happen around the same times, but unaware the other was doing something similar. When I had asked him for tips on drawing some spooky art, something he was good at drawing, he became very upset with me. He had just gotten back into drawing it and "suddenly I wanted to draw it too?". I wasn't aware, I just wanted to try drawing spooky things outside of my comfort zone. Due to his anger, feeling like his friends were attacking me, and my irl situation, I had posted a tweet talking about how I didn't want to wake up & isolated the entire following day. All my friend did was send me a hug emoji; nothing else

I was scared to come back because his anger as of the past 5 months scared me. And I was afraid he was going to yell at me, so I decided to talk to him when I felt comfortable doing so. After streaming, I reached out to him; and he was very upset that I texted him at work and not the least bit concerned if I was ok. He got more furious when I couldn't remember his work schedule and said "happy birthday have a good life"; blocked me on everything. Freaking out, I messaged his partner for help and broke down crying. And in that freak out, I turned to reddit & asked if losing my best friend was a good thing; deleting it a few hours later after I calmed down.

Someone on reddit screenshot what I said, made a twitter, and started publicly harassing me. Of course my friend saw it and thought I was shit talking him; which wasn't even true. This was thanks to some random reddit user who screenshot it and made a twitter just to post it. He came into my stream & said how wrong it was for me to message his partner & even say anything on reddit. We both apologized to each other; with him accepting half the apology & I fully accepted his. He then got upset that I didn't tell him everything during our friendship (like medical stuff). And then he was gone; he made it clear he was done with me.

Each time I think I made a friend, I lose them. I wish I could explain to him it was a misunderstanding. But at this point, what good would that do? I've lost sleep, I've had nightmares, everywhere I go, he's on my mind. He was the best friend I ever had. We had a lot in common & nothing in common at the same time. I still miss him terribly, and maybe it's wrong to have hope he'll come back, but I do have that hope in my heart. With my very bad trust issues, he was the one person I was the closest to trying to trust; but that trust is gone.

I don't even know how I can move on without him. He promised he'd stay; he promised he'd be different from others in my past.