Just found out

Welp turns out I’m part black 🤷‍♀️ my moms been sick and hasn’t been able to get a diagnosis for awhile because what the doctors thought she had she couldn’t have because it’s a “black disease” and we AREN’T black…until my mom got some genetic testing done. Turns out she does have the “black disease” because she’s part black. She confronted my grandmother about it and she confessed that she’s 1/2 black and has been hiding it her entire life. My great grandparents cheated on each other a lot my great grandpa with women over seas while in the military and my grandma with every black “handyman” she hired while he was away. My grandma was light skinned and could pass for white as long as she kept her hair cut short in a pixie cut so that’s what great grandma did and my grandma has kept that hairstyle her entire life. I don’t know if great grandpa ever knew or when grandma found out but she still continue the charade even though great grandparents have been dead since the 80s. It’s very weird because it’s not like we were fully white before my grandmas grandmother was Native American and my grandma was always very proud of that. Decorated her house in tribal decor, passed down the skill of tribal medicine and healing, taught all of us about our tribe and its history etc so why hide this? She isn’t racist either her 2 best friends to the point of me referring to them as aunties are both black women I’ve been to their houses celebrated holidays with their families grew up with their grandchildren my cousin even married one of them and now has 2 mixed kids herself. Like it’s just so weird that she’d hide this and is still wanting to pretend that she isn’t black and asked us to never talk about it again or bring it up to anyone she knows. This is weird right? I don’t even know how to feel about it. Like how did I not see it?? My grandma has always had dark tan skin but I just thought it was our native heritage and my mother has lightly tan skin with freckles and curly short ginger hair and full lips and thick hips butt and thighs but also very muscular kind of like Simone biles? I never saw it before but now I look at her and she looks like a black person with white skin and red hair. I myself am looking in the mirror and starting to question things,old remarks from high school about having “black booty” or “black girl lips”, my hairdresser calling my hair texture unusual (its wavy in some places straight in others when dry but curls when wet or humid) having a black boss at a fast food chain hire me because she could tell I was “mixed with something” why I also have a disease that is mostly common with POC. I know I’m probably being ridiculous but I feel like I just found the missing small puzzle piece and that something was always a little “off” and now that I have the answer it’ll get better.