I just need to get this off my chest

When we met I knew that I would either get my heart shattered or in a long distance relationship. Well I guess I was right. We both made a lot of mistakes that lead to us breaking up. We stayed in contact for months. He moved 3 hours away and I would drive once a week to go see him. Multiple times I asked for signs and was hit hard with angel numbers. I even asked for a green car if we work out, and walked out my front door and there was a green car I had never seen before and then two more on my way to work. A few moments later, I asked for a green truck and that night while I was with him I saw a green truck. He always says he doesn’t want a relationship but will say he misses me and asks me to come out. Before he moved out of state, we spent three days together. One of those nights we went star gazing. I remember I thought I saw a shooting star but wasn’t sure. I thought “I’d love to show him a shooting star” and then we both saw one. I said “did you see that” and he said “look a shooting star” and everything felt so at peace. Well he moved states and things got hard. He said there’s no point of us talking because I couldn’t go see him. I’ve now seen him twice. During these times I’ve tried manifesting, and subliminals, talking to god directly asking for us to be better together. And sometimes it works. During this time I’ve been “blocked” (messages still deliver) and ignored. But then something changed. He begged me to fly out one night and I was in his city within 7 hours. It wasn’t a great experience. He kinda ignored me but said it was because we’ve been in no contact and I ended the night with a migraine. I go home and he completely blocks me after he said he asked me to come out because he was lonely. I was crying and screaming and asked God for a sign that we are meant to be and said “no more fucking angel numbers I don’t know what they mean.” An hour later I turn on this random show (GLOW on Net flix if anyone’s curious lol) and I’m not paying attention until Actress A throws up. Mind you I’m on season 3 and don’t even know these ladies names or anything. Well I guess they have moved cities in the show and I missed it. So they cut to Actress B and she saying “oh I don’t party but I got a temporary library card at this college” it was his college. Then they go back to Actress A and she’s saying she has a migraine and her boyfriend didn’t know how to take care of her, just like my ex didn’t.

I just don’t know anymore. He’s the love of my life and truly with everything in me I think he’s my person. We have a lot of growing to do, but I want him by myside through the good and bad. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.